I'm scared. I am never scared of anything.

Except butterflies. They are disgusting. But maybe that's what the problem is. butterflies...in my stomach.

My time here is running out. Every day is flying by me faster than I can grasp. I am so accustomed to life here. I love my life here. I am terrified of the day that I have to board that plane and ride back to New York.

My friends and family here always ask me if I am homesick. The answer is a definite "NO!" My first month here was the hardest experience of my life, but shortly after, I discovered a new life in me. In Brasil, EVERYTHING is different. I like it like this. I like to wake up every morning and have a legitimate smile on my face. I like walking through a city and feeling safe, or famous, or just....known. I never feel alone here. I can not say the same for New York.

I know that I will return here one day. To Palmas, yes, but to Brasil I am definite. I can, in all honesty, imagine a life in Brasil. A future. And I will be coming back. I hope to do my time in the Peace Corps after my first four years of college, and hopefully with my somewhat understandable Portuguese, I'll be in Brasil!

I am not done traveling yet. Not even close. I have heard so many people tell me "Enjoy this while you can, you won't have time later." You can forget that. I do what I want, what I feel is right and what I feel needs to be done. Always. When my mind is made, it's written in diamonds. It doesn't change. If I listened to other people in the first place, I never would have made it here.

To boil it all down, I do not want to leave. Ever.